Sunday, January 21, 2007
It is raining.
Raindrops descending from the azure sky,
as if blessings from the above;
Hope and laughter are bestowed,
anguish and tears are slowly melted away.
Time to embark on a NEW journey.
An overcast sky.
Engulfed in a tranquil silence,
heart filled with unutterable serenity;
As the gentle breeze caresses my cheek,
life has once again shown its graceful presence,
and I merrily embrace it.
Dawn has arrived,
endowed by illuminating rays and rising hopes;
A new day has come,
live life to the fullest henceforth.
C'est la vie.
Isn't being alive wonderful?
Isn't life wonderful?
~Come what may~
My deepest gratitude, dear Father.
p.s. Must be the peculiar effect of this long-awaited rain, was suddenly inspired to write this "poem". Please kindly disregard it if you find it rather juvenille, hehe... *blushes*
xxxxx
REMARK: Referring to my previous blog, like I mentioned, a dream is real yet surreal. Whether it's achievable or not, it's still a dream. But once it comes true as a result of your relentless effort, a DREAM thus will be upgraded to REALITY. But before that, "a dream will always remain a dream if we do nothing about it".
Think there might be a bottleneck in the job offer. :( Still am optimistic though because have tried my best and it's not under my control anymore, anyway do wish me luck! ^_^
xxxxx
邂逅
因为相识太迟，
双方都清楚其实已经没有时间了，
所以谁也没有采取任何行动。
朋友说，如果时机不对，
那其实是“not meant to be”。
真的吗？
不知道这算不算爱，
但至少知道在那短暂的时间逐渐流失的同时，
这段意外的小插曲却依然洋溢着幸福的气息。
这.是.我.和.他.的.邂.逅
远方的你，现在还好吗?
一定要幸福哦！
（为什么突然写中文呢？原因很简单，因为他根本看不懂中文，哇哈哈... ）
~Original entry posted on 20 January 2007~
Labels: friendster blog
10:44 PM
Happy Meal
Am feeling happy.
Why?
*dances around cheerfully*
Well, after at least two months of 'suppression', Ammie Julai has finally re-emerged from the valley of shadows! *wtf?*
-_-lll
Gee, I'm such a drama queen, haha... o_0
*blushes*
So yea, back to the question, why? Because tonight marks 'The Attack of the CURRY CHICKEN'! (Ok, I'll stop dramatising and be more serious >_<) Haha, cooked an Indian meal for dinner tonight which the main star was none other than my signature dish --> curry chicken! (eh, not those instant curry paste lo, I always cook my curry from scratch, don't play play ler, hehe) *ooooo...*
Which reminds me, the last time I cooked it was actually on my birthday and that was like, more than two months ago! *gasp* (and thus explains 'two months of suppression')
Ok, I know curry is probably not a good idea in summer, in fact, it's kinda suicidal. But we've been planning it since the beginning of the week, so what the heck, I'm still gonna proceed with our plan! Well, I did tone down the curry though, it's not as spicy as it's supposed to be. Bo bian lo, if too spicy those three gentlemen would accuse me of murder ler, haha... *lol*
Oh yea, speaking of them, time to introduce them, my housemates --> Ben, Brendan and Luke (which makes me the ROSE among the THORNS, hehe). *applause* And they LOVED the dinner!! *gasp*Damn, so happy can die lo, haha~~
But at the same time, I miss my cooking group even more. Ben, Wayne, Catherine & Mira, miss you guys like crazy!! T_T
Anyway, back to my three cute housemates, I was BANNED by them from washing the dishes! Why? Because I cooked and they should do the clean-up. Well, not that I mind, I love cooking but dishwashing can be so laborious sometimes, so that's perfect. *winks*So totally enjoy being the only girl in the house, I'm loving it man! ^^Think I'm gonna miss them after I move. T_T
xxxxx
Got an offer letter from RMIT today.
Was notified by Monash yesterday that I was accepted.
Think I told most of my friends about the three options I have in mind:
- Cardiff University, UK.
- RMIT, Australia.
- Monash University, Australia.
I'm thrown into a dilemma --> it's time to make a choice. Don't we humans love contradicting ourselves? We complain when there's no option and yet we still complain when there's more than one option, how ironic.
Anyway, listed the pros and cons of each and judging from my current circumstances, I think I pretty much know where I'm going, oh Lord please give me strength!
Not gonna reveal first though, will tell everyone after I settle everything. Wish me luck though! *winks*
~Original entry posted on 18 January 2007~
Labels: friendster blog
10:38 PM
梦
DREAM
*pauses and thinks hard how to proceed with this post*
Well, wasn't planning to post anything today until I saw these two words from Lex's blog.
And that was it, like a trigger, I was suddenly overwhelmed by an avalanche of thoughts... Thoughts which have been both motivating and haunting me all these years.
According to the Compact Oxford English Dictionary:
Dream (noun) 1 a series of thoughts, images and sensations occuring in a person's mind during sleep. 2 a cherished ambition or ideal; a fantasy. 3 informal someone or something perceived as wonderful or perfect.
In this context, I'll go for definition number 2.
Yes, everyone has an ultimate dream, a cherished ambition or ideal, regardless of what it may be. But also take note of another word here, "fantasy".
And fantasy always connotes surrealism.
That's why, a dream likewise can be real yet surreal. True enough, not everyone can achieve his/her dream, that seems to be a fact we all have become accustomed to.
But I was thinking...
A dream will always remain a dream if we do nothing about it.
Yes I know, sometimes it's not up to us to decide, sometimes we're forced by our circumstances to do otherwise.
But...
Does that mean we have to give up our dreams?
Does that mean we shouldn't even try at all?
Dear Lex, you mentioned living in Japan has always been your dream and you can't explain why, you just know you want to go there. I do understand, seriously I do. Because like you, I have a dream as well, that is, to live in UK. I don't know why but it's been my dream ever since I was a little girl and everything I did up till now revolves around this dream. All I know is, I HAVE TO GO THERE. I know this may sound crazy but it feels like something is waiting for me there, that's why I have to go there to find out myself.
You're right Lex, sometimes we change our dreams in order to fit the route which we've been led to. Yes, that may be the case but deep in your heart, you're also aware that there are certain dreams that will remain unchanged for the rest of your life and they keep haunting you until the day you leave this world.
And you also said God is guiding us the way. Yes, I believe so but I also believe God is testing our will at the same time. "The more you want to achieve something, the harder it is to achieve it." Fair enough? Nothing comes easy, especially things that we yearn the most. That's why we have to work our ass off to get it.
Reminds me of The Alchemist, one of my favourite books. It's a story about a shepard called Santiago who decided to sell off his sheeps and travelled to a place he's never been to before in search of a lost treasure, which he only dreamt about one night. It wasn't an easy journey for Santiago, in fact, there's a lot of time when he could have given up but he didn't and eventually, he found the treasure.
He believed in his dream. Shouldn't we believe in ours as well?
"It's only a fictional story. It's not the same as the real world." I know some might say this. However, have you asked yourself "what's real and what's not real"? Stories are, after all, written by people who have their own stories. There's a saying "movies resemble life and vice versa" (戏如人生，人生如戏), that's why stories and life are reflections of each other.
A lot of people let life live them, they stop living and they stop trying. Perhaps they're forced to, but that shouldn't be the way, it's just not meant to be that way. We should live life and not let life live us because we can only live ONCE.
I don't want to be hounded by questions like "what if?" when I become old. I don't want to keep wondering about the life I could have got if I tried hard when I become an 80-year-old granny (aiyo, cannot imagine myself so old la, lol).
That's why I have to keep trying.
Santiago didn't achieve his dream overnight, he tried, took a lot of detours and waited for a long time before succeeding.
I've already waited all my life so I don't mind waiting for a bit more. I know it's not gonna be easy but this is the path I chose and I'll walk through it until the end, wherever it may lead me to.
And I have to believe in my dreams.
This belief has kept me going on all these years, without it I would have been like a zombie, not knowing what to do with my life. You know, I think it's significant to believe in something in life, or else life would be meaningless. You don't need to have a reason, you just need to have faith in it. Just like when you're in love, do you need a reason to love someone? No, I don't suppose so.
I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT FUTURE STILL EXISTS.
And this is my ultimate belief.
So Lex, let's work hard at our dreams together, you to Japan and me to UK, neh?
Gambateh!
Btw hope that friend of yours is doing well in Japan now, he sure has gutts, I salute him man! *winks*
xxxxx
Something insightful:
"Everything that was or is began with a dream", taken from Shark Boy and Lava Girl.
"The meaning of my life is whatever I want it to be", taken from The Fifth Mountain.
p.s. This looks like a very long post, sorry if I bored you though. Blame Lex, hehe^^
p.p.s. Hmm, interesting, The Alchemist has appeared in my blog twice... Honestly people, this is a really GOOD book, read it, in fact, read all Paulo Coelho's books! -highly recommended by Ammie-
p.p.p.s Had a phone interview with Persia earlier this morning, think I pretty much nailed the job, happy happy! Don't know why but I just feel like this is gonna be a start of something new and wonderful, thank you Lord. ^_^
~Original entry posted on 16 January 2007~
Labels: friendster blog
10:23 PM
What would you do when you're stuck in the following situation?
- Have too MUCH to do.
- Have too LITTLE time left.
- Odds seem to be against you.
Well I don't know about you, but this is my advice:
Step 1
Before you attempt anything, do this first, it sorta helps --> Firstly, calm down and then yell/scream/shriek you lungs out...
I'm soooooooo FUCKED!!!
Ok, perhaps you don't have to physically do it... Otherwise you could also play this phrase in your mind over and and over again...
-_-lll
Anyway, my point is, before doing anything else, you should admit that you're stuck in such a pathetic situation. Seriously, no point to lock yourself in denial, that won't do you any good.
Once you're truly aware of such horrific situation, your mind will be much clearer and you're now ready for step 2.
Step 2
THINK.
How did you end up in such situation?
*falls into deep thought*
Chances are, YOU are to be blamed!! YOU threw yourself into this vortex of rubbish!!
Either through excessive procrastination, indulgence, negligence, daydreaming or whatever, doesn't matter, BECAUSE...
*takes a deep breath*
It is you! You're the CULPRIT!! o_0
*kicks oneself violently*
*feels increasingly miserable and helpless*
T_T
Ok, now that we have identified the prime suspect, let's proceed to step 3.
Step 3
"You get yourself in this shit, you get yourself out of this shit."
Fair enough?
Yea, I reckon. *nods head*
Time to figure out a solution to rectify this piece of shit. For example:
- Think about what you can do, prioritise your actions and sum up in a to-do list. (sounds eeriely familiar, hehe... >_<)
- Consult with your friends, ask for their opinion. Be as resourceful as you can --> if you look closely, the lovely World Wide Web is replete with gazallion of 'inspirational ideas'. *fingers crossed*
- etc etc.
In other word, you need a PLAN and by now, err... Hopefully you have one. =.=
Good, time for step 4.
Step 4
Now that you have a plan, let's execute it, SHOW TIME!! Take a deep breath and with all your might......
DON'T CARE THREE SEVEN TWENTY ONE (不管三七二十一) *wtf?!!* AND JUST DO IT!!!
-_-lll
Well err... Meaning, stop acting like a pathetic loser/coward and do something!
Yea, that's right. Be a man/woman, do the right thing! *tries to imitate Russell Peters but fails hopelessly* ^^
Step 5
Now that you've done everything you could (or done almost everything on the to-do list ^^), time for a breather.
Step back and analyse your current situation:
- Is there any improvement?
- Have things changed for the better?
- etc etc.
Well, even if things still remain the same, this time around, you know you won't feel as miserable as you were before because you have tried your best to salvage the situation (make sure you have ooo...) and the rest is not under your control anymore.
Better regret doing SOMETHING than doing nothing at all right? *winks*
At least you didn't sit around, do nothing and wait meekly for your demise. At least you tried... *aja aja fighting!*
Plus, God will never abandon you, there will be a better path for you, whether you're aware of it or not... *winks*
Hmm... Oh well, and ought to take this as a lesson as well, always bear this in mind:
- A STITCH IN TIME SAVES NINE (bloody true!)
- Always be PREPARED of what may come ahead you.
- DO NOT, under any circumstances, procrastinate!
Finally, perhaps you could repeat step 1......
I'm soooooo fucked BUT... I'm also HAPPY lo!!
0_0
Yea true wat... I mean, you have done everything you could, takkan still wanna pull a sad face? Frankly, what good would it do?
C'mon, life is too short to always be depressed. Remember, at least you've TRIED.
So, have a 'lil faith in yourself, cheer up and move on to the next phase of your life, wherever it may lead you to...
Gambateh! *winks*
p.s. Wrote this out of sheer boredom, so if you consider it a piece of gibberish, please kindly disregard it. :p
p.p.s. Will have restricted Internet access due to a 'relocation' soon, haih... So won't be able to MSN or reply messages as frequent as I used to. T_T
p.p.p.s Will my readers (if I have any at all, that is, wahaha) please kindly leave some comments on my blog? At least I know I'm not just writing for the air to 'menghayati' lo, hehe... >_<
~Original entry posted on 13 January 2007~
Labels: friendster blog
10:14 PM
So I was running some errands as written on my "to-do list", now stuck on my wall. And yes, I really do have one to-do list, just drafted yesterday though, in an attempt to prevent myself from too much daydreaming and stoning at home, hoho... -_-lll
Damn, so much to do yet so little time left!
*gasp*
But as my dear friend Gandalf says "Now is not the time to lament how much time was wasted or lost. What we have to decide now is what to do with the time that is given to us."
So I'm pretty sure I can manage. Err, somehow, some way, I must... *fingers crossed*
Anyway, was feeling kinda bored so decided to check out some websites and quite accidentally, I stumbled upon this interesting website:-
What Ouran Host Club Host Are You?
Ouran Host Club!!Wa, sounds interesting wor! Because I'm a big fan Ouran. Because I love Mori Senpai. And because I was simply feeling very wu liao. So I decided to take the test, just for fun.
Hmm... So I'm Haruhi? >_<>
That is... We both are girls!!
-_-lll
Well, except err... I don't have to conceal my gender, unlike Haruhi. And hor, she's always surrounded by those outstanding, handsome and not to mention, bloody rich blokes! Damn, I'm so jealous lor, how on earth could she be sooooooo lucky?!! 0.o
Anyway, it was fun nevertheless. So if you're as "have-something-to-do-but-wanna-do-nothing-first" as me, check out this website and take the test.
So which host are you? *wink*
xxxxx
A random thought: "How could you pick up the threads of your old life, when you know in your heart, YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK?" by Frodo Baggins, taken from LOTR: The Return of the King.
And it hit me HARD.
Yes, how could you?
Reminds me of the time after I got my SPM result. I insisted vehemently not to do Form 6. Because I knew clearly in my heart that I could no longer stay there anymore. It signified the end of one stage of my life and it was time to move on. And the thought of going back terrified me. *shivers*
So no, it is not possible.
But, if you have no choice or if things are looking very bleak, what would you do? Pick up the threads of your old life?
Tell me.
What should I do?
~Original entry posted on 08 January 2007~
Labels: friendster blog
9:55 PM
Yearning for a THUNDERSTORM (or a heavy downpour)^^
*sips hot lemon tea indulgingly*
It's my second cup of lemon tea in under an hour and damn, it's nice especially on a cold night like this. I think I'm getting hooked on it. And it's Ben's (my housemate) fault. 0_o He made one the other morning, so I thought I'd try and bloody hell, it's very refreshing and I'm totally digging it!
Anyway, it's been suprisingly cloudy and windy today, unlike the past couple of boiling hot days, frankly I'm very pleased. Nevertheless, was bizarrely looking forward to a thunderstorm but there isn't any yet. :(
I know this may sound utterly weird. Under normal circumstances, I dread thunderstorm simply because it's awful. But today, I actually WANT one. 0_0
*shakes head in disbelief*
Perhaps this intense heat has totally cluttered my mind. Or perhaps it was my helpless attempt in finding a lame excuse for myself. Either way, I haven't been able to think straight for the past few days and that's probably the reason I'm yearning for a thunderstorm, hoping foolishly that it'll clear my mind. How that idea came about, I honestly do not know.
I have always been a thinker (at least that's what I think) and depending on the situation, it may be a weakness. Lately, it seems to have become a formidable obstacle.
Have I ever mentioned I dread turning 30? Yes, I seriously do dread it. And I've always thought that it's the gradual loss of youth which frightens me, but until recently, I realise this is not the case. In fact, what scares me is the sheer thought of not being able to achieve my goals and dreams, of being a nobody, of living just for the sake of living, of living in destitution, when turning 30. *shudders*
I know I'm paranoid for having such thoughts, hell I'm only 22! But the truth is, I've been thinking a lot about it ever since my 20th birthday.That's why birthdays are so uncool when you're an adult!!! =.=
Seriously, 22 is not very far away from 30.
*sighs*
The Alchemist is one of my favourite books and I've always been inspired by it. Its author Paulo Coelho wrote that when we're young, we're always convinced that we can achieve anything as long as we try our best; but as we grow older, there's a negative force which will gradually erode our confidence and faith. Finally, what once seems to be an attainable ambition has sadly become an unreachable fantasy. Hell, we're even petrified of trying! Instead, we keep our dreams at arm's length, admire it and yet not do anything about it. At least through that way, we'll never lose it.
I read The Alchemist when I was 18 and obviously, I was very young and very ambitious. I instantly sneered at it.
How could anyone give up without ever trying?!! How could they be so weak?
I did not understand.
But now, I think I'm starting to understand that the nearer you're to your dreams, the more you're afraid of screwing it up and that's why you'd rather leave it as it is. I think I do comprehend that fear now and this comprehension terrifies me.
Will I ever become such a coward that I so very much despise? Or worse, have I already become one?
*shudders*
BUT... Because there's always a time full of total shits. Because everything is only a passing, even darkness too must pass. Because you have to go on, whether you like it or not. Because there's always something worth fighting for. Because it's not over until it's really over. Because everything happens for a reason. And because you're not alone.
Therefore, I shall also be a do-er besides being a thinker. Better regret doing something than doing nothing right? >_<
I shall not give up easily and will keep trying.
Because IT'S NOW OR NEVER.
I think I'm beginning to understand why that initial confidence is stripped off when one approaches adulthood. Because one has to be tested in order to be stronger in facing whatever challenges ahead, if ever he/she intends to achieve his/her dreams.
What we have to decide now is what to do with the time that is given to us, there's really no point to lament.
I know what to do now.
So frankly, I do look forward to my next birthday now. *wink*
xxxxx
Btw not too worry my friends, by the time you read this line, I'm already feeling much better. No doubt, I was rather depressed for the past few days but just like some people, problems come and go too. So I really am alright now. ^^ Only wanted to express what I've been thinking these past few days, I reckon that's also one of the reasons for creating this temporary blog, haha...
Have been chatting with a lot of people lately and thanks everyone. At least I know I'm not alone, really, I'm very grateful for being blessed with such friends and family. T_T
Oh yea, about the thunderstorm that I mentioned earlier? I still pretty much want it lo. Well, because it feels like anything unhappy will be washed away. Fair enough? And plus, Melbourne is in the midst of a serious drought now, so that'll be helpful.
Hmm, maybe not a thunderstorm, a heavy downpour is good enough. Yea, I'm happy with that, haha...
谢谢你哦，就算是一个简单的赞美也足以令我的心感到暖暖的，真的好开心。我想，你一定不会知道你其实有蛮大的影响力，我其实挺在乎你的哦。^^
~Original entry posted on 07 January 2007~
Labels: friendster blog
9:45 PM
Spontaneous & Random
I reckon these two adjectives can best describe myself (at least it applies to my current state of mind, lol). Why, you may wonder.
Well, you'll find out as you read the following scenarios:
Scenario 1
Christmas and New Year were just round the corner, and I was getting increasingly annoyed by my old blog, as in its "origin" --> the reason I created it initially. Heck, I was even beginning to question myself "Why the f*ck are you still blogging here?!!".
So, because it's pissing me off. Because it's Christmas plus New Year (err... should I count this as one of the reasons? 0_o). And because I was simply sick and tired of my old blog.
And so within that short and crucial moment, I came up with an impromptu yet "aspiring" & "ambitious" decision --> ditch my old blog and create a NEW one!
*thunderous applause*
So goodbye to you, dear old bloggie!
So that's it. No heartache, no tears, no sweat, no anything. I ditched my old blog, and it was an easy decision.
Conclusion 1: I daresay I AM spontaneous & random. ^^
Scenario 2
And so it began. Upon "ending my agony over my old blog", I instantaneously decided to create a new one.
Created a new blog at one of those gazallion blog providers. Was gonna post my first blog BUT...... "Lazy la, I'll do it tomorrow then!" -_-lll
Comes "tomorrow" (err, not exactly the next day after I created it lo *blushes*). Was determined to post my first blog BUT...... "Walao, looks complicated wor. Hmm, I think I'll just do it tomorrow!" -_-llllll
Another "tomorrow". "No mood la, tomorrow then." -_-lllllllll
So, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after the day after tomorrow, the day after the day after tomorrow after the day after tomorrow... *gasp*
All attempts FAILED!!!
Sigh, guess I'm very good at procrastinating after all...
BUT... As in today, because I'm getting sick and tired of my procrastination. Because I'm in the mood. Because I've been wanting to write about tonnes of things and yet there's no venue to express them. And because "good horses don't turn back to eat grass" (好马不吃回头草) *wtf?!!*.
So I've made another impromptu decision --> I shall set up a TEMPORARY blog on Friendster while waiting to be inspired to complete my official blog. That way, I can crap all I want, perfecto! Me very smart, hoho... (which explains your "misfortune" in reading this now ^^)
After blogging from Xanga to MSN Space and now to Friendster, I reckon I'm somewhat nomadic and hence "Nomadic Aims @ DolceVita". Don't you reckon it's simply the perfect title? *wink*
Conclusion 2: Another decision made within a blink of the eyes. I daresay I AM yet again spontaneous & random. ^^
Do you not think so, that I'm rather spontaneous & random? Haha...
Anyway, I'm completely aware that it has already marked the first week of year 2007. But because it's proven that I'm spontaneous plus random 0_0. Because if there's an ending, there's a beginning. Because, heck I just wanna do it.
So, I'm gonna type......
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
May 2007 be a year full of happiness and blessings to all my friends who're reading this now. >_< p.s. Because I'm really spontaneous & random, so I really have no idea how long this blog will last, it is, after all, meant to be TEMPORARY. But then again, also due to my spontaneity and randomness, it might last longer than it's supposed to, lol.
~Original entry posted on 06 January 2007~
Labels: friendster blog
9:35 PM
